You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

You failed world geography in school because you thought Cuba, Florida, Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana, Springfield, and Mexico were cities in Missouri.

The phrase, “I’m going to the Lake this weekend,” can mean only one thing.

Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.

You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.

You think Jesse James is a hero.

You think I-44 is spelled “foarty-foar.”

You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.

You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Construction

You can’t think of anything better than sitting on the porch during a thunderstorm in the middle of the summer.

You’ll pay for your kids to attend college unless they want to attend the University of Kansas.

You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia. Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.

You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney, and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.

You know what “cow tipping” or “Possum Kicking” is.

You think “frog gigging” should be an Olympic sport.

You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.

You don’t put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.

There’s a tornado warning, and the whole town is outside, watching for it.

The local gas station sells live bait.

Your radio buttons are preset buttons are country.

“Vacation” means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun, or Six Flags.

Down south to you means Arkansas.

When they open their mouth, you know if another Missourian is from eastern, middle, or western Missouri.

You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.

Everyone in your family has been on a “Float trip.”

You’ve never met any celebrities.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

You’ve seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

You measure distance in minutes.

You know several people who have hit a deer.

Your school classes were canceled because of cold or heat in the same month.

You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

You know what and where “Party Cove” is.

You think Missouri is pronounced with an “ah” at the end.

You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”

You know what’s knee-high by the Fourth of July.

You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: “Where’s my coat at?” or “If you go to the mall I wanna go with.”

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You think of the four major food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.

You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.

You think that deer season is a national holiday.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

You find 105 degrees F “a little warm”.

You think Imo’s is larger than Pizza Hut.

You get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Missouri.

 

Compiled and edited by Kathy Alexander/Legends of America, updated April 2024.

Also See:

Historic People of Missouri

Missouri Photo Galleries

Missouri – The Show Me State

Quirky Missouri