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You can't think of anything better than
sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a
thunderstorm.
You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to
KU.
You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia,
and Columbia is halfway between
St. Louis and Kansas City, and
Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and
St. Louis.
You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from
Missouri.
You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is.
You think "frog gigging" should be an Olympic sport.
You think Imo's is larger than Pizza Hut.
You can tell the difference between a
horse and a cow from a distance.
You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for
it.
The local gas station sells live bait.
Your radio buttons are preset buttons are country.
"Vacation" means driving
to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.
Down south to you means
Arkansas.
You know if another
Missourian is from eastern, middle or western
Missouri
as soon as they open their mouth.
You know enough to get your driving done early
on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.
Everyone in your family
has been on a "Float trip."
You've never met any
celebrities.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting
to pass a tractor on the highway.
You've seen all the
biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
You measure distance in
minutes.
You know several people
who have hit a deer.
Your school classes were
canceled because of cold or heat in the same month.
You've ridden the school
bus for an hour each way.
You know what and where
"Party Cove" is.
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You
think 
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America Missouri DVD