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Old West Wisdom - Page 3

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Always drink your whiskey with your gun hand, to show your friendly intentions.

If drinking hurts your business, quit your business.

A smart ass just doesn't fit in the saddle.

A faint heart never filled a flush.

Never mention "rope" in the home of hanged man.

A cork screw never pulled a man out of a hole.


Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much.


Nobody ever drowned himself in his own sweat.


Genius has its limits. Stupidity knows no bounds. 


Colonel Colt made all men equal.



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Tradecard for Wiedemann Beer

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Men are like Barbed Wire.... they have their good points.

If the world made sense men would ride......Sidesaddle

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

The length of a conversation don't tell nothin' about the size of the intellect.

You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'till they get thumped.

Its a big mistake to drive black cattle in the dark.

Never take to sawin' on the branch that's supportin' you, unless you're bein' hung from it.

Always be able to look back and say, "At least I didn't lead no humdrum life."

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

There's a whole lot more to ridin' a horse than sittin' in the saddle and lettin' your feet hang down.


Too much debt doubles the weight on your horse and puts another in control of the reins.

Never try to dry a wet pair of jeans in the oven.

Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey. 


A smile from a good woman is worth more'n a dozen handed out by a bartender.


The wilder the colt, the better the hoss.


Some men talk 'cause they got somethin' to say. Others talk 'cause they got to say somethin'.


Bein' too positive in your opinions kin get you invited to a dance -- in the street, to the music of shots, nicely aimed.


Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.


If your horse doesn't want to go there, neither do you.


If man was Man's best friend, it wouldn't be a dog eat dog world.


Work like you don't need money and dance like no one is watching.


A halo only needs to drop a few inches to become a noose.


A man with an edgy smile is like a dog with a waggin' tail: he not happy, he's nervous.


No matter where you ride to, that's where you are.


If you're sittin' at a counter eatin', leave your hat on. If you're sittin' at a table take it off.


If you're gonna drive cattle through town, do it on Sunday. There's little traffic and people are more prayerful and less disposed to cuss at you.

I sowed wild oats and reaped prunes and bran.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.


A lasso is not a dating tool.


The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.


Meanwhile, back at the ranch, tension mounted, clicked its spurs and rode off into the sunset.


Bucking Bronco

Ridin' a bronc.

This image available for photographic prints  and downloads HERE!


Ridin' a bronc is like dancin with a girl. The trick is matchin yer partner's rhythm.

Real cowboys don't line dance.

Generally speaking, fancy titles and nightshirts are a waste of time.

Some people grin and bear it. Other people smile and change it.

The only way to drive cattle fast is slowly.


After weeks of beans and taters, even a change to taters and beans is good.


Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without.


No tree is too big for a short dog to lift his leg on.

You don't need decorated words to make your meanin' clear. Say it plain and save some breath for breathin'.


Honesty is not somethin' you should flirt with -- you should be married to it.


Never take another man's bet. He wouldn't offer it if he didn't know somethin' you don't.

Any time a large herd moves through a civilized area there's a lot of shit to clean up.


The wildest critters live in the city.


If the rodeo doesn't kill you, the commute probably will.



Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.


Love your enemies and keep your gun oiled.


The best way to get a cowboy to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.


Virtue is its own punishment.


Don't wear woolly chaps in sheep country during the breeding season.


If the saddle creaks, it's not paid for.


When you're tryin' somethin' new, the fewer people who know about it, the better.


Cowboys aren't easy to love but they have the biggest hearts in the world.


After you groom your horse, don't forget yerself.

Wearing gloves and button-fly jeans means you better think ahead.

A man doesn't need to be any higher, than on top of a horse.


Never speak loudly unless your shanty is on fire.

The best way to cook any part of a rangy ol' longhorn is to toss it in a pot with a horseshoe, and when the horseshoe is soft and tender, you can eat the beef.  




Compiled & edited by Kathy Weiser/Legends of America, updated April, 2017.



Longhorn. Photo by Jimmie Bertoldo, June, 2007.



Also See:

The Code of the West

Facts & Trivia of the Old West

Old West Insults

Old West Words - Quotes from real people of the West

Western Slang & Phrases


Old West Slideshow:



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