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Outhouse Jokes

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Outhouse Joke #1


There was once a country boy who hated using the outhouse because it was hot in the summer and freezing in the winter...plus it stank all the time. The outhouse was situated on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.

So one day after a spring rain the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. He got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.


That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing this meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"


The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."


The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree."


Ice Outhouse

Outhouse Joke #2

A woman living in a rural area wanted to have an outhouse that wouldn't stink. She advertised it in the local papers for a contractor that could build such a structure.


After some time, a contractor applied for the job and guaranteed that the outhouse would not have any odor. He got the job.


Sometime after completing the construction, the man got a frantic call from the woman, "You'd better get here fast! That outhouse has a terrible smell!"


He rushed over, went to the outhouse, poked his head through the door and exclaimed,

"No wonder it stinks! You pooped in it!"


Outhouse Joke #3


Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out.... "Pa!  You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"


Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."


Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."


So......Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma!  There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!"


Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"


Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!"


Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."


So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma!  There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"

Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"


Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help!  My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies, "Hurt's, don't it ?!"



Outhouse Joke #4


Two rednecks, Hank and Jenny Sue went for a walk in the countryside. After a while, Hank had to answer a call of nature. Spying an outhouse, he excused himself.


Jenny Sue waited for Hank...and waited, and waited. Finally, she looked inside and saw Hank stirring around in the outhouse muck with a stick. "Hank, what the hell are you doing, stirring in the shit?" she yells.


"I dropped my jacket down the hole, " he complains. "It's the one my momma gave me."


Jenny Sue shakes her head. "You're crazy ... you're not gonna wear that thing now, are you?"


"Hell no, " Hank assures her, "but there's a baloney sandwich in one of the pockets!"



See the Outhouse Gallery Next Page

Outhouse in Endee, New Mexico

"Modern Restrooms" in Endee, New Mexico, a ghost town. 

May, 2004, Kathy Weiser




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