|
What in the world is a vegetarian special? We
don't even know what that is much less serve it at the local diner.
The temperature drops
below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
You're ready to shoot the next person who asks about Toto or Dorothy
You have to travel 20 miles just to go to the nearest mall
The potatoes cook
underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and
add butter, salt and pepper.
The terms Sooners, Huskers and Missouri Tigers cause the hairs on the back
of your neck to stand up straight and your blood pressure to rise.
You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all in
the same store.
You prefer the Little Apple over the Big Apple as a place to live.
You had at least one summer job that was bucking bails or custom cutting.
You understand the difference between 3.2 and 6 point, and more than once
you've made a beer run to another state.
 You
really do think Sunflowers are beautiful.
You went to skating parties as a kid.
You'll pay for your kids to go to college...unless they want to go to OU
or NU.
Your earliest driving lessons were in a field while picking up hay.
You wave to
all the oncoming traffic.
You know that
cow pies aren’t made of beef.
There’s a
tornado warning and the whole town is outside looking for it.
Those strange
lights you see at night is a farmer working late in the field – not a UFO.
You don’t buy
all your vegetables at the grocery store.
You go to
Wal-Mart to shop.
 Using
the elevator involves a corn truck.
The number of
the Co-op is on speed dial.
You no longer
associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
You can make instant
sun tea.
You discover that in
July, it takes only two fingers to drive your car.
You discover that you
can get a sunburn through your car window.
Down
south means
Oklahoma
.
It's noon in July,
kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
You actually burn your
hand opening the car door.
You
know everything goes better with Ranch.
You know the real way to pronounce the name of Clintons state and the
river... arKANSAS.
You break a sweat the
instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
You realize that
asphalt has a liquid state.
Your biggest bicycle
wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement
and cook to death?"
The
only tourists you see are on the way to
Colorado.
You complain that you
can not see Scott
City...And
you are in Dighton!
You instantly know
someone is from
Johnson
County
when they call everything west of Topeka... Western
Kansas.
 It's
a bottle or a can of pop here. Soda is something you bake a cake
with.
You think the opening
day of pheasant season is a national holiday.
The popcorn growing in
the field is already popped.
You actually
get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
Kansas.
Compiled and edited by
Kathy Weiser/Legends
of America,
updated July, 2011.
|
