• Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

• Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

• It's lonely at the top, but you eat better

• Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

• So many cowboys, so little rope.

• Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!

• Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot

• He who laughs last thinks slowest

• My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone

• Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently-talented fool 

• If We Quit Voting, Will They Go Away?

• This cowgirl can’t be tamed.

• Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

• Madness takes its toll (please have exact change)

• It's bad luck to be superstitious

• I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

• If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

• Silly cowboy, trucks are for girls.

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