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"Men
don't really like skinny, do they? Ever since I dated a woman, I know
what it is to grab a curve on a woman's body. Skinny's not fine when
the lights are low." - Angelina Jolie
“The best
activities for your health are pumping and humping." - Arnold
Schwarzenegger,
California
Governor and actor
"People want you
to be a crazy, out-of-control teen brat. They want you miserable, just
like them. They don't want heroes; what they want is to see you fall."
- Leonardo DiCaprio, actor
"Your food stamps
will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a
change in your circumstances." - Department of Social Services,
Greenville, South Carolina
“Life
is very important to Americans.” - Bob Dole, former
Republican United States
Senate Majority Leader from
Kansas.
"I don't want them once
they turn 18." - Eminem in reference to Britney Spears and
Christina Aguilera
“Why in God’s name we’re going to punish a man for
having sex with his wife when she says, ‘No, not tonight,’ I don’t
know.“ - Senator Bud Long from South Carolina.
"Thank God... maybe now he can finally afford to pay my child
support." - Pamela Anderson, upon hearing that Tommy Lee was going to
be in a new reality series.
"I
kinda want to be the Reese Witherspoon of the music industry -- the
girl next door who wears a great dress and has great hair." - Jessica
Simpson, singer
"I
better not find out you're going to be working for that dweeb Jay
Leno." - David Letterman, to one of his writers, who announced he's
retiring.
"My vision is to
make the most diverse state on earth, and we have people from every
planet on the earth in this state. We have the sons and daughters of
every, of people from every planet, of every country on earth."
- Former
California
Governor Gray Davis, during the recall campaign
"I'm
big time. I'm not a made-for-TV movie. I'm big screen, baby...It's a
tough role to play--like trying to play Frank Sinatra." - Former
Hollywood
madam Heidi Fleiss. Incidentally her story wound up on TV.
"China is a big
country, inhabited by many Chinese." - Charles De Gaulle, former
French President
"Sit by the homely
girl, you'll look better by comparison." - Debra Maffett, Miss America
1983
"To have
your niece die in your arms is the greatest gift from God." - Celine
Dion, singer
"People
in Portugal, they speak Portugenese don't they?" - Jade Goody, British
celebrity
"My child was not
only carried by me, but by the universe." - Celine Dion
"If somebody ever
wished to be me for a day, they'd be the most pissed-off person once
they got here. They would be, like, in hell." - Jennifer Aniston
"I
think she'd rather have a nice, intimate wedding and in a way, so
would I. But the networks like me... I'm a ratings machine." - Donald
Trump on televising his wedding.
"I didn't show up
for court because I didn't have a professional bodyguard." - Courtney
Love, singer
"I
have a couple of guys to do my laundry. Just because I am lazy and
rich." - Kid Rock, singer
"I
thought, you know, I was sort of fat compared to 'Cheers'... But I
didn't really know what it looked like until I saw myself, and then I
was 'Oh my God.'" - Kirstie Alley, actress, on her denial and
realization of her weight gain.
"When people wear shoes that don't fit them, it says something about
their soul. Generally, I think it means they are good people." - Billy
Bob Thornton, actor
"We were dating at the time. I don't know if you heard" - Jennifer
Lopez when asked how Ben Affleck ended up in the video Jenny From The
Block.
Good
looking people turn me off. Myself included.” – Patrick Swayze, actor
"I
think God is a giant vibrator in the sky... a pulsating force of
incredible energy." - David Arquette, actor
"There's a sculpture in our bedroom, a solid brass replica of
Antonio's manhood. It's very expensive, he gave it to me as a romantic
gift." - Melanie Griffith, actress
"Some men send me condoms and underpants. I'm not sure what they
want." - Martine McCutcheon, actress
"Be
very careful about your cape. Don't use it for sexual high jinks. It
can get ugly--trust me. Also, be careful when flushing." - Original
Batman Adam West
"I'm really f--king good at my job, and people who are interesting and
good know that. That's all that matters." - Gwyneth Paltrow, actress
"Thank you, Brazil" - Alanis Morissette, singer, to a Prevuian
Audience
"Well,
there are things I don’t really know about, like sentence structure, a
beginning, a middle, and an end." - Pamela Anderson, actress
"I love British
cinema like a doctor loves his dying patient." - Ben Kingsley, actor
"You have to treat Paula [Abdul] like a poodle, one that you've
rescued from the pound and who needs attention" - Simon Cowell, actor
"The only time I use women in films is when they're naked or dead." -
Joel Silver, film producer
"If
we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?"
- Tom Snyder, talk show host
"Billy
Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America." - Jerry Falwell,
evangelist
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