|
Pa acted
So tickled
Ma thot
He was pickled
He'd just tried
Burma-Shave
If hugging
On highways
Is your sport
Trade in your car
For a davenport
Burma-Shave
Hat and tie
Smart and clean
Space between
Spoiled the scene
He should use
Burma-Shave
There's no whisker
It won't soften
Shave 'em close
And not
So often
Burma-Shave
Angels
Who guard you
When you drive
Usually
Reture at 65
Burma-Shave
Forest fires
Start from scratch
So think before
You toss
That match
Burma-Shave
Dim your lights
Behind a car
Let folks see
How bright
YOU are
Burma-Shave
Thirty days
Hath September
April
June and the
Speed offender
Burma-Shave
Others claim
Their product good
But ours
Does what
You think it should
Burma-Shave
Ben
Met Anna
Made a hit
Neglected beard
Ben-Anna split
Burma-Shave
Drowsy?
Just remember, pard
That marble slab
Is doggone
Hard
Burma-Shave
Statistics prove
Near and far
That folks who
Drive like crazy
--Are!
Burma-Shave
Dear lover boy,
Your photo came
But your doggone beard
Won't fit
The frame
Burma-Shave
This will never
Come to pass
A back-seat
Driver
Out of gas
Burma-Shave
Don't lose
Your head
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it
Burma-Shave
If a gift
You must choose
Give him one
He'll like
To use
Burma-Shave
Pedro
Walked
Back home, by golly
His bristly chin
Was hot-to-Molly
Burma-Shave
If our road signs
Catch your eye
Smile
But don't forget
To buy
Burma-Shave
Does your husband
Misbehave
Grunt and grumble
Rant and rave
Shoot the brute some
Burma-Shave
It's a good
Old Spanish custom
Take your mug
And brush
And bust 'em
Burma-Shave
Early to bed
Early to rise
Was meant for those
Old fashioned guys
Who don't use
Burma-Shave
You've used
Our cream
Now try our blades
Pair up the best
In shaving aids
Burma-Shave
Don't lose
Your head
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it
Burma-Shave
That she
Could cook
He had his doubts
Until she creamed
His bristle sprouts with
Burma-Shave
Famous last words
"If he won't
Dim his
I won't
Dim mine"
Burma-Shave
The wolf
Who longs
To roam and prowl
Should shave before
He starts to howl
Burma-Shave
Car in ditch
Driver in tree
Moon was full
And so
Was he
Burma-Shave
As you drive
Play this game
Construct
A jingle
With this name
Burma-Shave
Substitutes
That promise perfection
Are like
Some candidates
After election
Burma-Shave
If a gift
You must choose
Give him
One that
He can use
Burma-Shave
Santa's
Whiskers
Need no trimmin'
He kisses kids
Not the wimmin
Burma-Shave
When the stork
Delivers a boy
Our whole
Darn factory
Jumps for joy
Burma-Shave
Altho
We've sold
Six million others
We still can't sell
Those coughdrop brothers
Burma-Shave
Join
Our happy
Brushless throng
Six million users
Can't be wrong
Burma-Shave
If you
Must sample
Her "pucker paint"
Better drive
Where traffic ain't
Burma-Shave
It gave
Swell shaves before
Now you'll like it
Even more
The new--improved
Burma-Shave
Pull off
The road
To change a flat
Protect your life--
No spare for that!
Burma-Shave
Tho tough
And rough
From wind and wave
Your cheek
Grows sleek with
Burma-Shave
In seventy years
Of brushin' soap on
Gramps coulda painted
The pentagon
Use brushless
Burma-Shave
These three
Prevent most accidents
Courtesy
Caution
Common sense
Burma-Shave
Said one whisker
To another
Can't get tough
With this stuff
Brother
Burma-Shave
Old Dobbin
reads these signs
Each day
You see, he gets
His corn that way
Burma-Shave
To soothe
And smooth
Your tender skin
It's now improved
With lanolin
Burma-Shave
One Burma-Shave
The school boy cried
At least
I'll smell
As if I tried
Burma-Shave
Ashes to ashes
Forests to dust
Keep Minnesota green
Or we'll
All go bust
Burma-Shave
Ashes to ashes
Forests to dust
Keep Wisconsin green
Or we'll
All go bust
Burma-Shave
His cheek
Was rough
His chick vamoosed
And now she won't
Come home to roost
Burma-Shave
Twinkle, twinkle
One-eyed car
We all wonder
WHERE
You are
Burma-Shave
On curves ahead
Remember, sonny
That rabbit's foot
Didn't save
The bunny
Burma-Shave
When
Super-shaved
Remember, pard
You'll still get slapped
But not so hard
Burma-Shave
His brush is gone
So what'll we do
Said Mike Robe I
To Mike Robe II
Burma-Shave
The place to pass
On curves
You know
Is only at
A beauty show
Burma-Shave
A whiskery kiss
For the one
You adore
May not make her mad
But her face will be sore
Burma-Shave
Burma-Shave
Was such a boom
They passed
The bride
And kissed the groom
These signs
We gladly
Dedicate
To men who've had
No date of late
Burma-Shave
If your peach
Keeps out
Of reach
Better practice
What we preach
Burma-Shave
A guy
Who drives
A car wide open
Is not thinkin'
He's just hopin'
Burma-Shave
To kiss
A mug
That's like a cactus
Takes more nerve
Than it does practice
Burma-Shave
The whale
Put Jonah
Down the hatch
But coughed him up
Because he scratched
Burma-Shave
Don't
Try passing
On a slope
Unless you have
A periscope
Burma-Shave
Passing cars
When you can't see
May get you
A glimpse
Of eternity
Burma-Shave
Don't leave safety
To mere chance
That's why
Belts are
Sold with pants
Burma-Shave
At a quiz
Pa ain't
No whiz
But he knows how
To keep Ma his
Burma-Shave
Many a forest
Used to stand
Where a
Lighted match
Got out of hand
Burma-Shave
Baby your skin
Keep it fitter
Or "baby"
Will get
Another sitter
Burma-Shave
Use this cream
A day
Or two
Then don't call her--
She'll call you
Burma-Shave
The poorest guy
In the
Human race
Can have a
Million dollar face
Burma-Shave
If daisies
Are your
Favorite flower
Keep pushin' up those
Miles-per-hour
Burma-Shave
He lit a match
To check gas tank
That's why
They call him
Skinless frank
Burma-Shave
The one who
Drives when
He's been drinking
Depends on you
To do his thinking
Burma-Shave
This cream
Is like
A parachute
There isn't
Any substitute
Burma-Shave
Tempted to try it?
Follow your hunch
Be "Top Banana"
Not one
Of the bunch
Burma-Shave
Bristles scratched
His cookie's map
That's what
Made poor
Ginger snap
Burma-Shave
We've made Grandpa
Look so youthful
His pension board
Thinks
He's untruthful
Burma-Shave
Henry the Eighth
Sure had
Trouble
Short term wives
Long term stubble
Burma-Shave
When the stork
Delivers a boy
OUr whole
Darn factory
Jumps for joy
Burma-Shave
Our fortune
Is your
Shaven face
It's our best
Advertising space
Burma-Shave
Said farmer Brown
Who's bald
On top
Wish I could
Rotate the crop
Burma-Shave |
Iceman's grandson
Now full grown
Has cooling system
All his own
He uses
Burma-Shave
Let's make Hitler
And Hirohito
Look as sick as
Old Benito
Buy defense bonds
Burma-Shave
Can't shave daily?
Tender hide?
Now be honest
Have you
Tried
Burma-Shave
Road
Was slippery
Curve was sharp
White robe, halo
Wings and harp
Burma-Shave
Shaving brush
In army pack
Was straw that broke
The rookie's back
Use brushless
Burma-Shave
Film protects
Your neck
And chin
So your razor
Won't dig in
Burma-Shave
Tho tough
And rough
From wind and wave
Your cheek grows sleek
With
Burma-Shave
Many a wolf
Is never let in
Because of the hair
On his
Chinny-chin-chin
Burma-Shave
She raised cain
When he raised stubble
Guess what
Smoothed away
Their trouble?
Burma-Shave
Big mistake
Many make
Rely on horn
Instead of
Brake
Burma-Shave
From statistics
That we gather
The swing is to
No brush
No lather
Burma-Shave
No man can really
Do his stuff
With a face that's sore
Or a chin
That's rough
Burma-Shave
First men buy it
Then apply it
Then advise
Their friends
To try it
Burma-Shave
If these
Signs blur
And bounce around
You'd better park
And walk to town
Burma-Shave
This is not
A clever verse
I tried
And tried
But just
Got worse
Why work up
A daily lather
Once you've tried
We're sure
You'd rather
Burma-Shave
If you think
She likes
Your bristles
Walk bare-footed
Through some thistles
Burma-Shave
The more
You shave
The brushless way
The more you'll be
Inclined to say--
Burma-Shave
Substitutes and
Imitations
Send 'em to
Your wife's
Relations
Burma-Shave
Highways are
No place
To sleep
Stop your car
To count your sheep
Burma-Shave
The minutes
Some folks
Save through speed
They never even
Live to need
Burma-Shave
At school zones
Heed instructions!
Protect
our little
Tax deductions
Burma-Shave
Regardless of
Political views
All good parties
Always
Choose
Burma-Shave
The midnight ride
Of Paul
For beer
Led to a
Warmer hemisphere
Burma-Shave
It's not
How fast or slow
You drive
The question is
How you arrive
Burma-Shave
In Cupid's little
Bag of trix
Here's the one
That clix
With chix
Burma-Shave
Thrifty jars for
Stay at homes
Handy tubes
For him
Who roams
Burma-Shave
If you want
A hearty squeeze
Get our
Female
Anti-freeze
Burma-Shave
Substitutes would
Have their place
If you could
Substitute
Your face
Burma-Shave
Man passes
Dog house
Dog sees chin
Dog gets out
Man gets in
Burma-Shave
A guy
Who wants
To middle-aisle it
Must never scratch
His little violet
Burma-Shave
Prices rising
O'er the nation
Here is one
That missed
Inflation
Burma-Shave
We know
How much
You love that gal
But use both hands
For driving, pal
Burma-Shave
The first
Improvement
In many a year
For cleaning teeth
Is finally here
Burma-Vita Tooth Powder
Headline news
For face
And chin
Now improved
With lanolin
Burma-Shave
His face
Was loved
By just his mother
He Burma-Shaved
And now--
Oh, brother
When frisky
With whiskey
Don't drive
'Cause it's
Risky
Burma-Shave
His beard
Was long
And strong and tough
He lost his
Chicken in the rough
Burma-Shave
Just this once
And just for fun
We'll let you
Finish
What we've begun
? ? ?
With television
On the set
Stars are
Running out
To get
Burma-Shave
With A sleek cheek
Pressed to hers
Jeepers! Creepers!
How she purrs
Burma-Shave
Men
Who have to
Travel light
Find the handy tube
Just right
Burma-Shave
Since hubby
Tried
That substitute
He's 1/3 man
And 2/3 brute
Burma-Shave
He always used
A steaming towel
And mug and brush
And language foul
'Til he tried
Burma-Shave
Violets are blue
Roses are pink
On graves
Of those
Who drive and drink
Burma-Shave
Candidate says
Campaign
Confusing
Babies kiss me
Since I've been using
Burma-Shave
My job is
Keeping faces clean
And nobody knows
De stubble
I've seen
Burma-Shave
Doesn't
Kiss you
Like she useter?
Perhaps she's seen
A smoother rooster!!
Burma-Shave
No use
Knowing
How to pick 'em
If your half-shaved
Whiskers stick 'em
Burma-Shave
He tried
To cross
As fast train neared
Death didn't draft him
He volunteered
Burma-Shave
Her chariot
Raced 80 per
They hauled away
What had
Ben Her
Burma-Shave
She will
Flood your face
With kisses
'Cause you smell
So darn delicious
Burma-Shave Lotion
Use Burma-Shave
In tube
Or jar
Then follow up
With our new star
Burma-Shave Lotion
It has a tingle
And a tang
That starts
The day off
With a bang
Burma-Shave Lotion
Bracing as
An ocean breeze
For after shaving
It's sure
To please
Burma-Shave Lotion
Better try
Less speed per mile
That car
May have to
Last a while
Burma-Shave
To steal
A kiss
He had the knack
But lacked the cheek
To get one back
Burma-Shave
We've made
Grandpa
Look so trim
The local
Draft board's after him
Burma-Shave
"No, no,"
She said
To her bristly beau
"I'd rather
Eat the mistletoe"
Burma-Shave
His rose
Is wed
His violet blew
But his sugar is sweet
Since he took this cue
Burma-Shave
Why is it
When you
Try to pass
The guy in front
Goes twice as fast?
Burma-Shave
She put
A bullet
Thru his hat
But he's had
Closer shaves than that
Burma-Shave
5-star
Generals
Privates 1st class
Show equal rank
In the looking-glass
Burma-Shave
When you lay
Those few cents down
You've bought
The smoothest
Shave in town
Burma-Shave
Substitutes
Are like a girdle
They find some jobs
They just
Can't hurdle
Burma-Shave
The bearded devil
Is forced
To dwell
In the only place
Where they don't sell
Burma-Shave
This cream
Makes the
Gardener's daughter
Plant her tu-lips
Where she oughter
Burma-Shave
No matter
The price
No matter how new
The best safety device
In your car is you
Burma-Shave
He asked
His kitten
To pet and purr
She eyed his puss
And screamed "What fur!"
Burma-Shave
Toughest
Whiskers
In the town
We hold 'em up
You mow 'em down
Burma-Shave
These signs
Are not
For laughs alone
The face they save
May be your own
Burma-Shave
The hero
Was brave and strong
And willin'
She felt his chin--
Then wed the villain
Burma-Shave
The safest rule
No ifs or buts
Just drive
Like every one else
Is nuts!
Burma-Shave
Dinah doesn't
Treat him right
But if he'd
Shave
Dyna-mite!
Burma-Shave
To change that
Shaving job
To joy
You gotta use
The real McCoy
Burma-Shave
Tho stiff
The beard
That Nature gave
It shaves
Like down with
Burma-Shave
Use our cream
And we betcha
Girls won't wait
They'll come
And getcha
Burma-Shave
|
The wife
Who keeps on
Being kissed
Always heads
Her shopping list
Burma-Shave
Stores are full
Of shaving aids
But all you need
Is this
And blades
Burma-Shave
If you
Don't know
Whose signs
These are
You can't have
Driven very far
Burma-Shave
A girl
Should hold on
To her youth
But not
When he's driving
Burma-Shave
Maybe you can't
Shoulder a gun
But you can shoulder
The cost of one
Buy defense bonds
Burma-Shave
Of all
The drunks
Who drive on Sunday
Some are stil
Alive on Monday
Burma-Shave
Traveling men
Know ease
And speed
Their shaving kits
Hold what they need
Burma-Shave
What you shouted
May be true,
But
Did you hear
What he called you?
Burma-Shave
Buying defense bonds
Means money lent
So they
Don't cost you
One red cent
Burma-Shave
To most brush shavers
It's quite clear
The yanks aren't coming
The yanks are here
Use brushless
Burma-Shave
Every shaver
Now can snore
Six more minutes
Than before
By using
Burma-Shave
One pound jar 85c
Half pound jar 50c
Big tube 35c
Don't put it off
Put it on
Burma-Shave
Half a pound
For
Half a dollar
Spread on thin
Above the collar
Burma-Shave
Shaving brushes
You'll soon see 'em
On the shelf
In some
Museum
Burma-Shave
Within this vale
Of toil
And sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin -- Use
Burma-Shave
The cannoneers
With hairy ears
On wiry whiskers
Used tin shears
Until they found
Burma-Shave
You can beat
A mile a minute
But there ain't
No future
In it
Burma-Shave
Sleep in a chair
Nothing to lose
But a nap
At the wheel
Is a permanent snooze
Burma-Shave
Life with father
Is more pleasant
Since
He got this
Birthday present
Burma-Shave
To a substitute
He gave a trial
It took off
Nothing
But his smile
Burma-Shave
It spreads so smooth
It shaves so slick
It feels
Like velvet
And it's quick
Burma-Shave
'Twould be
More fun
To go by air
If we could put
These signs up there
Burma-Shave
His line was smooth
But not his chin
He took her out
She took him in
To buy some
Burma-Shave
The chick
He wed
Let out a whoop
Felt his chin and
Flew the coop
Burma-Shave
Tested
In peace
Proven in war
Better now
Than ever before
Burma-Shave
Both hands
On wheel
Eyes on road
That's the skillful
Driver's code
Burma-Shave
Speaking of
Great events
Burma-Shave
Proudly presents
Another fine product
Burma-Vita Tooth Powder
Just moisten
Your tooth brush
Dip in jar
And you'll enjoy
Cleaner teeth by far
Burma-Vita Tooth Powder
Don't waste powder
Down the drain
By missing brush
With faulty aim
A dip does it
Burma-Vita Tooth Powder
Better tooth cleanser
Low expense
Your druggist
Sells it
40 cents
Burma-Vita Tooth Powder
Tobacco stains
And stale breath too
Are two
Of the things
It takes from you
Burma-Vita Tooth Powder
The boy who gets
His girl's applause
Must act
Not look
Like Santa Claus
Burma-Shave
Within this vale
Of toil
And sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin--use
Burma-Shave
Speed
Was high
Weather was not
Tires were thin
X marks the spot
Burma-Shave
A man who passes
On hills and curves
Is not a man
Of iron nerves--
He's crazy!
Burma-Shave
I've read
These signs
Since just a kid
Now that I shave
I'm glad I did
Burma-Shave
Leap year's
over
You're safe, men
All you cowards
Can shave again
With brushless
Burma-Shave
He saw
The train
And tried to duck it
Kicked first the gas
And then the bucket
Burma-Shave
For early
Morning
Pep and bounce
A brand new product
We announce
Burma-Shave Lotion
The ladies
Take one whiff
And purr--
It's no wonder
Men prefer
Burma-Shave Lotion
His face
Was smooth
And cool as ice
And oh! Louise!
He smelled so nice
Burma-Shave Lotion
I'd heard
It praised
By drug store clerks
I tried the stuff
Hot dog! It works
Burma-Shave
Train wrecks few
Reason clear
Fireman
Never hugs
Engineer
Burma-Shave
Altho insured
Remember, kiddo
They don't pay you
They pay
Your widow
Burma-Shave
My cheek
Says she
Feels smooth as satin
Ha! Ha! Says he
That's mine you're pattin'
Burma-Shave
Soap
May do
For lads with fuzz
Bur sir, you ain't
The kid you wuz
Burma-Shave
She eyed
His beard
And said no dice
The wedding's off--
I'll COOK the rice
Burma-Shave
Train approaching
Whistle squealing
Pause!
Avoid that
Rundown feeling!
Burma-Shave
Unless
Your face
Is stinger free
You'd better let
Your honey be
Burma-Shave
Another
Red skin
Bit the dust
When Pa tried
What these signs discussed
Burma-Shave
The band
For which
The grand stand roots
Is not made up
Substi-toots!
Burma-Shave
Cautious rider
To her
Reckless dear
Let's have less bull
And lots more steer
Burma-Shave
Spring
Has sprung
The grass has riz
Where last year's
Careless drivers is
Burma-Shave
Big blue tube
It's a honey
Best squeeze play
For love
Or money
Burma-Shave
Proper
Distance
To him was bunk
They pulled him out
Of some guy's trunk
Burma-Shave
Missin'
Kissin'?
Perhaps your thrush
Can't get thru
The underbrush--try
Burma-Shave
Clancy's
Whiskers
Tickle Nancy
Nancy lowered the boom
On Clancy!
Burma-Shave
A chin
Where barbed wire
Bristles stand
Is bound to be
A no ma'ams land
Burma-Shave
Leaves
Face soft
As woman's touch
Yet doesn't cost you
Near as much
Burma-Shave
We can't
Provide you
With a date
But we do supply
The best darn bait
Burma-Shave
The wolf
Is shaved
So neat and trim
Red Riding Hood
Is chasing him
Burma-Shave
Relief
For faces
Chapped and sore
Keeps 'em comin'
Back for more
Burma-Shave
His
Tomato
Was the mushy type
Until his beard
Grew over-ripe
Burma-Shave
Heaven's
Latest
Neophyte
Signalled left
Then turned right
Burma-Shave
His crop of
Whiskers
Needed reaping
That's what kept
His Lena leaping
Burma-Shave
The blackened forest
Smoulders yet
Because
He flipped
A cigaret
Burma-Shave
Jar so big
Cost so small
Coolest
Smoothest
Shave of all
Burma-Shave
Slow down, Pa
Sakes alive
Ma missed signs
Four
And five
Burma-Shave
Grandpa knows
It ain't too late
He's gone
To git
Some widder bait
Burma-Shave
Within this vale
Of toil
And sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin
Burma-Shave
Take
Your
Time
Not
Your life
Burma-Shave
Cattle crossing
Means go slow
That old bull
Is some
Cow's beau
Burma-Shave
Does your husband
Misbehave
Grunt and grumble
Rant and rave?
Shoot the brute some
Burma-Shave
The draftee
Tried a tube
And purred
Well whaddya know
I've been defurred
Burma-Shave
This cooling shave
Will never fail
To stamp
Its user
First class male
Burma-Shave
Drinking drivers--
Nothing worse
They put
The quart
Before the hearse
Burma-Shave
Men
With whiskers
'Neath their noses
Oughta have to kiss
Like eskimoses
Burma-Shave
|
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